Caveat: this sort of post might not be interesting to most of you. It’s more for me. Feel free to not read it, I don’t care.
Big moments, people. Maybe not as big for me as for the person that it’s happening to, but a moment nonetheless.
My niece graduated high school on Saturday (with honors!) and I am just ridiculously proud of the kid lady. It’s awesome seeing someone with their future completely layer out before them and you know that they are more than willing to put in the work necessary to accomplish their dreams. She’s going to do big things and the only thing that is going to stop her is her.
I realize that these are the sort of tired cliches that a person spouts when a high school graduation happens, but this sort of optimism is a relatively new thing when it comes to my family. I’m inspired. For the first time in a long time I see a member of my family doing something positive and it’s pretty amazing.
Right now I find myself at a different point in my life; wondering what comes next, feeling like a prisoner of older decisions. For a while I’ve been down about this, fretting and mentally just feeling sorry for myself a lot.
But some introspection has told me that feeling sorry for myself won’t improve my station in life or change the things that are getting me down. I have to put in the necessary work to get what I want out of life. I want to look at my writing and feel the sort of pride that I did a few years ago, I want to look at my work as something that meets my needs financially and allows me to feel tired but happy that I did it at the end of the day. I want all of these things, but to get them I have to be willing to put in the sort of work my niece is doing now.
I’m capable of the sort of humility that it takes to follow the example of an 18 year-old to help me regain ownership of my life. Now let’s just see how I can make this happen.
And yes, before anyone who stumbles upon this entry points it out, I realize that I just made a milestone in an eighteen year-old’s life all about me. Yes that is self-indulgent, but so is blogging. I’m still trying to find my sea legs, here people.